Fatality
by Viridian Valentine
Summary: Raising a baby all alone with a drug addiction can take a serious toll. A shabby, pathetic snippet of Xion's part from Fire Crotch and the Friendzone Virgins.


_When you've got nothing left, you've got nothing left to lose..._

* * *

"_I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day…"_

Her acrylic nails tapped against the windowsill, while her gaze darted back and forth at the American Robins building a nest on the nearest tree outside. The voice escaping her lips was laced with discomfort.

"_When it's cold outside…I've got the month of June…"_

June.

The one thing that could instantly bring a smile to her face. And the one that could mentally destroy her. A soft coo came from her right, and she looked over to see the bundle of her own DNA that was her daughter. A complex fragment of her past mistakes, and more recent unraveling of her own life. Nearly eight months had gone by since the birthing.

Alone. Well, almost. He came by once.

That crib June slept in made her want to burst into tears. All that time spent with Axel was deteriorated. It felt like a sham. There were countless amounts of conversations, sleepless nights, and not to mention the not-so-intelligent times of intoxication where they died and revived by each other's side.

And what did she have to show for it? A love that had gone three states away to save his existence in this shabby world. A cocaine addiction. HIV positive.

_I fucked up, June. I fucked up big time._

She refused to let Axel raise her child. Their child. It was her burden alone, and he didn't need to know his own genes were swimming around in that baby. No, that would just be a tragic denouement of everything she heard he had accomplished.

Because like it or not, he was laced with HIV too. He finally got off drugs just to salvage the vessel he so desperately craved to go on through his life with. And she hadn't done shit. After June's birth, the communication between those two had dropped significantly. She ached to hear his voice again, to just even be in his presence. Doubt had convinced her that he had forgotten about the unique connection they shared.

_He has his own problems. Why take on mine too?_

Her nose burned from the line of cocaine she had just snorted. Her pupils dilated and left the sparkling cerulean irises to be only a thing ring in her eyes.

She stood up from the position of being on her knees, and slowly walked over to the sleek, beautiful cherry wood crib that wasted an entire paycheck. Her slender fingers traced the frame as June cooed again. Her phone started to vibrate numerous times in a row, signifying a call. Saix. She answered.

"Hey."

"Well hey you. How's everything holding up? That kid of yours getting less blobbish?"

"She sure is. Saix..?"

She didn't want to talk about this.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think…I should have told him?"

She was slipping away from reality. Away from everything.

"Xion, I…you chose what you thought was best. Don't beat yourself up over it. Everyone goes through their own individual times of contemplation of if they did the right thing. He'll know soon enough."

Tears began to well up in her face. She already looked like shit.

"Yeah...you're right. Well, June made a mess in her diaper. I gotta go."

"See you again, kiddo."

"Yeah."

Click.

Then suddenly, a wave of numerous emotions hit her and caused a breakdown.

"Why the hell didn't I tell him? Oh yeah, because it was all my fault to begin with, all of my fucking fault!"

The tears flowed faster as a hole was made in the plastered wall by her own fist.

"Its all his fault June! Why did I have to love him? He's such a selfish prick, abandoning me for some snobby little rape victim kid!"

Her words were fueled by anger and denial. None of this was actually how she felt, but in the moment it was the only way to vent and release all of the past's cruel treatments. Then, forgiveness.

"No, no, I didn't mean that. I love Axel. I fought for him when all of that air was decompressed from his lungs. I made him keep going. I pushed him to live. And he did the same for me. Roxas is an amazing kid. They deserve each other…"

The waves, one after another of shifting moods and thoughts were beginning to be too much to bear.

She needed a fix. The coke wasn't enough this time.

There was a small cardboard box by the crib, a poor choice of location for all of Xion's drug use. She opened it and pulled out the baggie containing some heroin. The strongest wave deserved the strongest fix. She heated up the base and stuck it in a dirty hypodermic needle. Who the hell cared about cleanliness at a time like this. She just wanted to dissolve in a pile of her own filth and excrement, because that's what she deserved. A ribbon placed and tied tightly around her arm, and the metal syringe was plunged into her flesh and partially collapsed veins.

With the infiltration into her body, her brain's natural chemistry reacted with toxins creating a strong feeling of euphoria. Then came the dizziness, feeling as though her body became heavy and she couldn't move. A sense of nausea came over her. Xion felt tired, as though the world no longer existed around her and her ability to function both mentally and physically decreased.

This was too strong of a fix.

As her perception dwindled by the second, she used what strength she had to pull June out of the crib and onto her lap. Her hair was a gingery blonde, and it always carried a living legacy of someone that would live in her heart forever.

Xion tugged symbolically at her chest as eyelids drooped over her vision. Fingers between mother and child laced together.

"I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way…?"

A reassuring smile swept across her face.

This was it. Her final rush.

There would be no more anguish, no more fight to live.

She would finally become one with the world.

"My girl, talking bout my girl…"

_Live for me, June. Live for us._

And then, silence.

* * *

_With my last left single breath i'll still be singin' to you._


End file.
